saying goodbye

So.. it's been a little more difficult to get on a computer with the teens here getting in line for internet time. Sorry for the delay in updates!

Here's the news so far:

• 2 sets of siblings went home to their parents! yay! Their parents came and picked them up. All the kids have been telling me about it over and over again. It's reflection of their own longing to be reunited with their family, I think.
• 2 boys (1 highschool, 1 middle school) ran away a while back. One returned yesterday but then got sick and is in the hospital. I'm not sure what's going with that. The other boy (middle schooler) is still out on his own. I asked his sister who's shares the room with me and she said he probably won't be coming back and he likes it out there. Both of these boys were the ones no one wanted to deal with and were labeled as troublemakers. They definitely have felt rejection within the home and as such, feel no regrets about running off. Please pray for their eyes to be opened to the Sonship they share with Jesus and that they will realize that people truly do love them.
• Lastly, the dorm mom for the middle/high school girls left today. She has been serving here for 3 years and the girls have grown to respect her despite her being a bit harsh with them at times. After lunch we had a small farewell party for her with many of the other kids from the home attending. The girls made her a card with notes from other kids and staff, and a video presentation, which was impressive given the effort they put in (usually they give up after a little while). A lot of tears from both dorm mom and her girls. A new dorm mom is coming next week after their summer camp. Please pray for trust to build between the new dorm mom and the girls.

Also, the annual CAMP is starting on Monday for 5 days. It's an all out event where all the kids go "camping" in the front yard and aren't allowed back in. Cooking, cleaning, sleeping (for the boys at least), playing games and presentations all happen outdoors! It's very draining on the staff but the kids look forward to it a lot. Please pray for the Lord to fill me with energy and excitment for this event. I haven't gotten fully rested since my arrival and have been lagging behind a little.

I love u all so much. sorry for the grammar/typos. Too tired to proofread. Good nite!

Current state of mind (12 hr to departure)

I have yet to pack and there are still last-minute errands to run. In a way, I can't believe I'll be leaving across the ocean within the next 12 hrs. Surreal is the word. I try not to be, but I'm scared...even to the point that I wonder, "maybe I shouldn't go." What if I am disappointed? In myself mostly but also I'm afraid of being disappointed in God. That's definitely not the Prince of Peace speaking, I know! But last year when I went, it was a life changing experience and God took me to whole different level of intimacy and truth. But what if this time around, it's not as amazing? I want it to be but what if my flesh gets in the way and I come back the same? All that money and prayers spent on me would have been wasted!

But every time my mind wanders away like that, the Spirit reminds me that Jesus does not disappoint. He takes us from glory to glory. Never backwards. If it's on my strength and my knowledge, I am certain that I will be disappointed. But I embody Christ. The one who is victorious over all sin and all circumstance is in me. The authority and power that Jesus had in rebuking Satan is in me because I am covered by His blood.

Lord, I claim your victory in my life and in those whom I will serve. I bind the spirit of fear and pride in your blood and cast them out. I thank you for all the future victories you have promised. Amen.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you ...

Money. I needed it. Airfare was covered, but the time between my going and my returning was not. At first I thought to just use my school loans. "I could pay it back later when I start working" was my thought. But the Lord said to ask and it will be given to me. Plus, my Father is the lord of all wealth and riches...it's not a hard thing for Him so why not ask? Last year, many of my relatives in Korea gave me "allowance" money since I hadn't seen them in over 10 years. And now this year, the money is flowing in from my relatives in the U.S. Mostly it's like "Here's some money to buy what I asked you for, and here's some more for you to spend." God's the ultimate sugar-daddy :)

A dream come true :)

So, even before leaving Korea last summer (2009), I wanted to go back. I remember specifically this one teen at the home asking me if I'd be returning anytime soon. At that time, all I could say was "I hope I can. I will someday!" and the response I got from him was, "No, you're not going to come back. They always say they will but never do..." That just about did it for me and I have been praying on and off for God to give me an opportunity to go back asap.

Upon my return back to the States, I had to jump into school almost right away at JMU, but in the meantime, I had gotten information about a Korean lady nearby who held a World Mission prayer meeting every Wednesdays. More importantly, I was told that she had a heart for the Orphanage Ministry in Korea. So without any headsup, I just dropped in one Wednesday evening praying that it wouldn't be so awkward. As soon as I got introduced to the prayer lady, she told me that she had been praying for me! This really surprised me since I had never seen her before nor did she she know me. Later she told me that she saw my name in a Servants newsletter as going to Korea for missions and started praying for me right away. That night, I got to share with her my experience in Korea and pray together with some other cool people.

Ever since then, she (Mrs. Lim) has become a great spiritual mentor to me, and a small group of us have been gathering together regularly to pray for various missionaries all over the world. And on one of these days, she brought up the possibility of my going back to Korea. I started getting excited right away but also worried about time and expenses. But God has been so faithful! Ms.Lim has covered the entirety of my airfare and I found out that I had a good month off before having to return to school! Not only that, NamSan Home was not going to receive any summer volunteer this summer but upon hearing that I was interested in returning.. they said YES!

And so...my SUPER awesome, God-appointed, God-anointed trip begins~~~~~~ ^^